The last two years

So I haven't checked into dA for quite some time now. In all likelihood, there won't be many readers left from back in 2011, but what the heck: A new journal entry!

In my last entry in march 2011 I was ranting about politics and society in general, I said that I'd rather live 'in a small commune' than in this evil capitalist system.

That entry needs to be continued, because in fact that small (anarchist) commune is were I do live now.

It has been an exhausting two years, but a very rewarding process at the same time: We (about 20 people from all over the country) started this project, got to know each other extensively (lots of traveling to all the meetings every other week, and lots of social stress for me) and finally we bought a huge run-down farmhouse.

In January last year I moved in and that was when the work _really_ started.

The House is near collapsing and still can't be lived in, so we got a few smaller houses in the surrounding village, all cheap so they also needed a lot of work. Some of us live in trailers on the site, these needed to be isolated and equipped with heating for the winter. At the same time we started work on the farmhouse. Full assembly every week to figure out how _exactly_ we want to organize our commune and what _exactly_ do we want to achieve politically. In full assembly of course we have a principle of consensus, so every topic is discussed endlessly. We tried and use various methods to improve our (internal) communication structures and skills. We eat vegan and try to buy eco friendly stuff only . We have lots of people visit us to see if they want to join. We organize small festivals to attract new people. And lots more work, no to mention all the difficulties on social levels. Some people even left the project already (pretty normal I guess but still a lot of grief and hard feelings going with it).

Phew!

So all of this was (and really still is) quite exhausting. Nevertheless I'm feeling quite proud to have gone through all this and to be here now. Of course it was quite fun, too, I meet a lot of really nice people, and I've learned a lot about myself.

By October 2012, however, I felt pretty much burned out by this rollercoaster, deeply depressed, cold, in a state of social anxiety, I hardly left my shack for three months. After christmas I fled to the canary islands with a friend, we stayed with a small community of leftover Hippies in caves by a beautiful big lake in the mountains for three weeks, lived in a tent on the beach for another week. Pure heaven! And now, upon my return, I really feel like crawling out of my hole. I have a lot of new ideas, I'm looking forward to next summer (and to seeing where new year 2014 will find me).

I wish all of you (and myself) a happy 2013!